Wildlife is not scarce in Columbus. It is completely common to see deer, squirrels, rabbits, and raccoons on a weekly basis. Columbus, Ohio: equal parts city, country, and suburb.
There was a raccoon living near our place and we would see it from time to time sneaking around the yard or scampering off past the garage. Rigatoni eventually brought it to my attention she was now living and not paying rent near the outside set of stairs leading to our 2nd floor porch. Being the problem-solver I raised him to be, Rigatoni placed a rather large rock to block the space the raccoon was using as an apartment.
I woke up one sunny fall morning about a week later and headed to the kitchen for some aftermath cleanup. I put on some coffee, opened the blinds, and pushed back the curtain on the door that looks out onto the porch. Amongst the bags of recycling, the grill, and the lawn chairs, I saw tiny clawed footprints. Glancing toward the right, I saw more remnants of the claw prints all the way down the entire two flights of stairs leading into the backyard. Upon further inspection of the porch, I saw a massive pile of shit that didn't appear to be anything resembling human fecal matter.
Clearly, we had a passive-aggressive raccoon on our hands. What the hell kind of sociopathic animal walks up two flights of stairs, ignores enticing bags of recycling and a delicious smelling grill, and does a #2 (borderline #3) in the corner of a porch? Since Rigatoni came up with the "spectacular idea" to block the racoon's apartment with a massive rock, I nominated him for back porch cleanup. Good luck with that Rigatoni, let me know how it goes!
An olive branch couldn't hurt the situation - maybe when the weather warms up, I will place some air freshener and some moist wipes out for the little guy.
Bahahaha love it! What's a #3??
ReplyDeleteHi Ziggs! A #3 is one level beyond a #2. We've all been there, even this racoon.
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